1. Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.

2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

3. I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.

4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

5. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him ‘Why do you carry a 45?’ Ranger responded, ‘Because they don’t make a 46.

6. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. ‘Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?’ ‘No Ma’am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my shotgun.’

7.  Beware the man who only has one gun. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT!!!

But wait, there’s more!

I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in the house.

I said I did.

She said ‘Well I certainly hope it isn’t loaded!’

To which I said, of course it is loaded, can’t work without bullets!’

She then asked, ‘Are you that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?’

My reply was, ‘No not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too.’

To which I’ll add, having a gun in the house that isn’t loaded is like having a car in the garage without gas in the tank.